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Anti-Drinking Ad Reminds Man to Buy Beer
Tuesday, April 14, 2026
Also in News
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Dog With No Manners Eats Spoonful of Peanut Butter With Mouth Open
Apr 13, 2026
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Most Stressful Job? Obama’s Chef 9th to Commit Suicide
Apr 13, 2026
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Not Your Typical Thanksgiving: Vietnam Veteran Uncle Visibly Conflicted About Your New Girlfriend
Apr 9, 2026
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McDonald’s CEO: “The Levels of Human DNA in Our Meat Are Within Regulation”
Apr 7, 2026
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If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Join ‘Em: All Your College Libertarian Friends Now Work For the Government
Apr 6, 2026
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Man Who Identifies Himself as ‘Fiscally Conservative But Socially Liberal’ Has Yet to Identify Himself as ‘Annoying’
Apr 4, 2026
News Archives
News
Dog With No Manners Eats Spoonful of Peanut Butter With Mouth Open
Apr 13, 2026
News
Most Stressful Job? Obama’s Chef 9th to Commit Suicide
Apr 13, 2026
News
Not Your Typical Thanksgiving: Vietnam Veteran Uncle Visibly Conflicted About Your New Girlfriend
Apr 9, 2026
News
McDonald’s CEO: “The Levels of Human DNA in Our Meat Are Within Regulation”
Apr 7, 2026
News
If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Join ‘Em: All Your College Libertarian Friends Now Work For the Government
Apr 6, 2026
News
Man Who Identifies Himself as ‘Fiscally Conservative But Socially Liberal’ Has Yet to Identify Himself as ‘Annoying’
Apr 4, 2026
News
Atheist Prostitute Refuses to Take Off Work on Good Friday
Apr 3, 2026
News
Hopeless! This Man’s Relaxing Vacation Was Ruined by Knowledge That The Vacation Would Soon End
Apr 3, 2026
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April Fools! An Estimated 4 Billion People Will Starve to Death in the Next 36 Months
Apr 2, 2026
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Experts Suggest the First Step to Ensure Your Job Isn’t Taken by Artificial Intelligence is to Get One
Mar 29, 2026
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“We Are So Proud of the Work We Do,” Says ICE Agent Speaking Anonymously
Mar 28, 2026
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Homophobic Tree Quickly Regrows Bark Over Carving Made by Gay Couple
Mar 27, 2026
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Government Accidentally Announces Next Pandemic Before They Release It
Mar 26, 2026
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The Surprising Connection Linking Two Killers: John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald Both Loved Murder
Mar 19, 2026
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Baffling Nancy Guthrie Disappearance Gives Hope Surveillance State Isn’t All Powerful Yet
Feb 4, 2026
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Sheriff’s Department: Tragic Nancy Guthrie Disappearance Making Pretty Good News Story
Feb 4, 2026
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Pretty Much Everyone You Would Expect Named in Epstein Files
Jan 31, 2026
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In Response to Epstein Files, Elon Musk Announces Rockets-and-AI Merger
Jan 31, 2026